Like most southerners in a small town I was raised in church. No matter what was planned on Sunday it would be done after 12:00 pm, no questions ask. I might have argued every decision my sweet mother made, but I knew there was a line that couldn't be crossed and that line was Sunday morning. No matter how strong your faith is you will back slide and nine times out of ten you won't realize it for a while. We all have our faults and demons to battle. Sometimes at night I'm so tired I think I'll pray later or I'll read my bible in the morning. This is a very dangerous thing. You don't see your pulling away because you're in church every week, or you're only praying when you need something. I'm guilty one hundred and ten percent, and it hit me one day a few weeks ago. This time was different, this time I really wanted to change my whole attitude. So I spoke a few very powerful words, I said, "Lord help me be closer to you, help me strengthen my faith." Then he hit me with a ton of bricks.
I am not only lucky enough to be my father's daughter but I'm also a friend and a co-worker. We are together seven days a week for long hours. Not only is his DNA engrained in me but I shadow his every move. His habits are mine, his thoughts are mine, and his actions are my actions. You think you're a daddy's girl until you meet me. When I started school I despised it, he bribed me by taking me to Pizza Hut once a week. To this day we are at Pizza Hut every Monday at eleven am. He always treated me like an adult, when we would do a job he would ask me how I would do it. More than likely he wouldn't do it that way, but he always valued my opinion. I never realized it but he was laying a foundation for me. He gave me constant reminders that he wouldn't always be here, and I would have to make decisions on my own one day. No matter how much I depended on him I had to be independent.
Daddy suffers from COPD, he is very susceptible to colds and pneumonia. A few days ago he started to get a cold. I told him to stay in the house but I knew he wouldn't. On Thursday the doctor said you have pneumonia, he finally whole heartedly agreed to stay in. I went on about the day not thinking to much about it, that night mama called and said they were going to the hospital. We threw our cloths on and fell in behind her car. When we got to the ER he couldn't breathe at all. All the doctors flew into working on him as soon as he came through the door. I have to be completely honest, I was worried but not terribly upset yet since we'd been through this before. Sitting in the waiting room mama called and said they would be sedating him and inserting a breathing tube. At that moment I heard nothing but I knew I had to see him. I did see him, as he was going down the hall on a hospital bed with a blue face. He never saw me, he looked at me when I yelled his name in pain but he didn't actually see me. In this moment I learned the correct way to pray, I prayed from my soul. The next day when they said they wouldn't be taking the ventilator off I panicked again. The second day they attempted to turn the ventilator off he didn't do well so it was put back on. For the first time in my life I felt like I could see the devil. I knew he was there fighting to win, fighting to make us hurt and suffer. I knew we could win, that we would win but it would be a battle. I prayed and when I didn't pray I would read the bible. That is where we find strength and reassurance. On the fifth day he started breathing on his own and the breathing tube came out. Six days later he left the hospital and came home his old self. He had a very close call, I'm not sure that anyone expected him to come back so strong. You don't realize you're only one breath away from leaving this world. There's no doubt he had a lot of help here on earth, but God is the reason he's still with us. This made it clear to me, the world is full of sin and the devil is closer than you know but God can use these things to bring us closer to him. We will all make mistakes and pull away but he will always be here when we come back to him. Through this all I never realized he was bringing us all closer to him. I honestly feel like I looked at the devil for the first time that day, but I could also see how powerful the Lord is. Now when I say "if the Lord is for us then surely who can be against us" I believe it whole heartily and say it full of faith.
