Some of the most heart touching breath taking blessings are the hardest to accept. Have you ever wanted something so bad you can feel it? I'm sure, we all have. Sometimes the thing you want more than anything is something that can only be given to you by God. Those are the gifts that make you stronger, they strengthen your faith, and help you grow as a person. But what do you do when the gift you wanted comes in a completely different package out of left field? That's when you take a step back and say "thank you", thank you for doing this for me. Thank you for knowing more than I know and taking better care of me than I take of myself.
To make a long story short for those who may not know, I was born with ovaries but no uterus. This means I can have a baby but it will be through IVF and via a surrogate. I've known for many years that this is the path that we will take to have a child. I've had enough time to digest it and accept it, then have a breakdown or two (ok maybe a million) and be at peace with this. I find comfort in knowing that of all the people faced with infertility I'm one of the very lucky ones that has eggs which enables me to have my own biological child. Now to the hard blessing, I can't carry my own baby. I'm not sure that this is appreciated as much as it should be. There are forty weeks when its just you and the baby, you take care of it, you talk to it, sing to it, and it responds. It moves in you, kicks you, and keeps you awake on the end. They say that baby can recognize its mothers voice as soon as its born. I hear women complain about stretch marks, weight gain, swollen everything. I wish they would look at what they have and what they're doing. A woman is the only being in this world that can have two souls in her body at once, that should make your heart stop.
Now for the heart touching blessing; we can have a baby. Yes it's going to come in a different package and no its not the world's view of a perfect scenario, but it is perfect. God made me different but he also made alot of other women different to. He made them with bigger hearts, he made them to recognize a need and desire in another broken woman, and he made them to want to help. So here's a thank you for all the breath taking heart touching hard blessings that we will receive more than once in this life. And here's another big thank you to all the people we can never repay for their love and generosity, you are truly the best blessing.
