Sometimes it just sucks..

I've always tried to be very hopeful, positive, and full of faith when it comes to my infertility, but I think I owe it to anyone facing it to tell the other side of the story. It sucks, and that's the only way to put it. We've met with some people and talked about surrogacy and they don't understand what they're looking at across the table. We've sat through several conversations and listened as they went on and on about how excited they were. This is a dream come true and it will be an amazing experience that we want to all have together. Their pregnancies went off so well, no problems during labor and on and on. Let me let you in on a little secret, although it is an amazing advantage that we have in medical science. There are times when it's not amazing to us. I have moments where I just want to look at people and say "stop". Why are you telling me how well it went for you, because it you haven't noticed its not going well for us. It may be selfish but I think some people, even people on the outside looking in, get very caught up in this romantic idea of some hero coming in and carrying your child. I don't want to come across as bitter or ungrateful, but I do want to be a voice to the people that are in this position. It's heartbreaking to watch another woman do the job that you should be doing. She will feel every move and bump that your baby makes while you get to sit in the back row of this experience. She is the one protecting and growing your child not you. But you know what happens? You get through it. There are a lot of things in this world that can break you down and tear you apart but this isn't one of them. It turns out that not every woman was made to have an easy pregnancy. There are a few that are hand picked to show everyone what perseverance is about. So when you're in that moment when infertility really stinks and is bringing you down just remember we've all been there, some are still there, but it doesn't last forever.